Saturday, May 27, 2017


Lake  Weslee  bloom , Howard Springs , Darwin , by  ace  snapper, Rob Wesley-Smith.

Friday, May 26, 2017


In what has  been described  as  the night of the  Saudi Arabian   flashing Ali Baba  swords, President  Trump   sacked  his  Oval  Office  inner  circle advisers  and  replaced them with   a  brand new   bunch  of   weirdos , above,  to  help him  bugger up  the  world . 
In  this  exclusive  FBI  supplied  photograph of  the  Oval Office  ,  the new   mob of  apprentices look like Sesame Street characters . It is tipped they will  soon have  the  world  in  a  flap .  
Mission  accomplished
And  in another  stunning  midnight  tweet  , Daffy Donald  announced  he had  appointed   the  Blues  Brothers  as  his  religious  mentors ."These   dudes are  on a mission from  God and  the  KGB ," he later  told  a   gobsmacked   media  conference  ."The Blues Brothers  will sit on  my  right  hand while I continue my  starring  role  in the  great  American  reality  TV  horror  show ."
These  shock  announcements  were  made  soon  after  the  president's triumphant appearance  at  the  NATO  conference where he performed  like  a  bellowing redundant ,  rampaging   Ringling  Brothers  elephant  stung on the arse  by  a  wasp , causing  more   damage   than  the  Blues Brothers  did   to  the  armed  forces  of   America , neo-Nazis  and  Good  Ole  Boys during  the  car chase  to  Chicago .
Making  the American  car and  scrapmetal  industry  great  again .

Thursday, May 25, 2017


The  move to start an online   competitor  to the  Murdoch owned Townsville  Bulletin   is  gaining momentum . Several local businessman ,  unhappy with  the Bulletin , are  offering  to  put  up  cash  for the  project .

Leading the charge is Doug  Kingston , North Queensland business, marketing and media consultant who worked as a journalist, sports editor and marketing manager during a 25-year career with  the  Bulletin .
During that time he was winner of seven International Newspaper Marketing Association awards and 14 Pacific Area Newspaper Publishers Association (PANPA) awards, including PANPA Marketer of the Year in 2000 and 2004.
Furthermore  he was   involved in the early development of the North Queensland Cowboys, North Queensland Fury and Townsville Crocodiles national sporting teams and received North Queensland Tourism's highest honour - Outstanding Contribution by an Individual - in 2001. Has been a director of Tennis Queensland since 2009 and a Queensland member representative to Tennis Australia since 2010.
Phone: 0417 762 190

Appalled  by much of  the   one  sided    reporting  in  the   paper to support a  particular  angle , he   is  prepared  to   run  the  venture  for   nine months  at   his  own expense   to  gauge the   support . He  has specific  areas of  interest, including sport ,  which  he  intends  covering  himself , in what will be  a  more balanced , wider   coverage   of   local  issues.
A   website   is  being  designed   and  a  surprising  number of  journalists   are showing   support ,  some former  Bulletin  staff  ,  offering  to   write  for  the   paper .  Other  retired  journalists  in  the area , critical of the Murdoch paper ,  with  diverse  interests and  wide ranging  media   contacts , are  closely watching   proceedings .

Wednesday, May 24, 2017


When  rain  bucketed  down  in  Townsville  recently, some of  it   even over the  city's catchment area , the flow  down   Ross River  caused  water  weed  to  mass   causing   the   abandonment  of  a  rowing regatta , which   went unnoticed  by  the  media. News tip  for local scribes : what is Townsville City Council going to do to  clear  the waterway, the imported  weed  cutter  seems not  to have overcome the  problem ?  And now that Magnetic Island  is looking green and fresh and wattle coming  out   after  also copping some of the  rain , despite  a   poor wet in the dry tropics , the  powers  that  be  have announced a  start to burning off  at Horseshoe  Bay . 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017


Undergoing a  number of  medical  investigations  in  Townsville  , this writer was ushered  into  a waiting   room  and  told  to  sit , a  cannula in  arm . Gazing about , there  were the usual magazines  on  display  dealing    with  subjects  alien to  people  feeling crook  or  somewhat  apprehensive-world   travel and  property investment .

Centre of attraction , however,  was the gleaming  , state of the art  mobile trolley , strategically  placed  in  case  any  patient  felt  the  desire to  fall  down  in  a  swoon ,   bearing the  proud  label : Designed and  made  in Australia .

Another  patient  arrived,  sat down . In  the way of small talk , it was pointed out to  him that  the  trolley  was  an  actual  product  of  Australia . He pondered  for  some  time , gave  the  conveyance  the   once over ,  then  profoundly  declared  : " Probably the  wheels." As  they say, laughter  is  the  best  medicine .  

Monday, May 22, 2017


Hollywood : Hotgossip   here today is that  Donald  Trump will  step down next week  as  president of  the United States  to   star  in  a chain  of  movies  based on  variations  of the swashbuckling pirate  flicks  in  which  Australia's own wicked  Errol Flynn  won  the  hearts  and  minds  of  female  moviegoers.   At  2am  this morning ,  Trump tweeted : Eat your heart out  Johnny Depp...obviously a reference  to   the  flogged  to  death   Pirates  of  the  Caribbean series , the latest part  shot  in  the  Queensland  penal  colony , followed by an outbreak of  mad  dog   disease  in  right  wing  political  circles , at a crescendo right now over the  Adani  con  caper, part of  the Australian long running  revenue and  attack on the  environment  horror  series , Plunder  the    Aussie  Suckers   Down  Under .

The way  President  Trump and   his  top officials   flashed their  swords about in Saudi Arabia  reminded Hollywood producers of   the  action  packed  Errol Flynn movies . So they  made   the  president  a fabulous   offer , the  huge first  down payment  deposited  in the Cayman Islands ,   to  become  a   film star ... thus   avoiding   certain   impeachment .
Other  Ali Baba  bit  players
  We can exclusively  reveal   the first  movie  Donald will star in  has a  catchy   title :  The  Sword of  Ali  Baba   in which he will wear  a  black  Errol Flynn  wig  and  a recycled Groucho  Marx  mouldy  moustache. Then will come the very topical Ali  Baba and the  Forty Russian  Election Robbers   in which  Donald will  carry a .45 calibre  umbrella to protect himself  from  showers.
Scimitars  galore will  flash in  the   certain box office  hit  Ali  Baba  in   the   Scottish  Caddyshack   Bikini   Bloodbath  .

 Preliminary   screenplays are being worked on   for Ali   Baba  Gone With the Wind  and   the  must  see over  and  over  treat ,  Ali   Baba's  One  Way  Flight  to  Mars  With  Oprah .

Sunday, May 21, 2017


A person claiming to be a  highly paid  Little Darwin correspondent  is  jaunting about  Central  America  after  taking  the  wind out  of   Air New Zealand's latest advertising   campaign  which  features  a  goose .  Let it be known  that none of our  foreign correspondents  is   paid   and  the  fake  editor  has  a  begging bowl and  plays the  gumleaf , rather badly, in a city  mall, often pelted with  rotten fruit which  nevertheless  adds variety and volume  to  his  fibre intake. See