Monday, September 15, 2008

SCOOP! SCOOP! SCOOP! NEXT ADMINISTRATOR WILL CURL THE MO

Famous surrealist artist Salvador Dali will be the next Administrator after thespian Tom Pauling. Dali was sounded out for the post when Chief Minister Clare Martin was in Spain selling the famous Territory lifestyle to Spaniards who are being driven mad by hordes of tourists and international property speculators , some of the latter members of the Darwin law fraternity. The eccentric artist had not been seen for decades and it was widely believed he had been living the life of a recluse in an Andalusian coffin covered in emasculated bullfighters’ graffiti.

However , he was so inspired by a newspaper article extolling the NT lifestyle that he came out of hiding and gave the Chief Minister a rare audience. He even waxed his impressive moustache for the occasion and wore a crisp new undertaker’s suit. Dali is understood to have assured the CM he could be just as entertaining as Ted Egan and the present encumbent , Tom Pauling. The artist said Spain is overrun by rich Germans and odd Pommies wanting to start worm farms and other dreary ventures.

Darwin, with its towering wet season thunderclouds , bushfires, yapping dogs , mad drivers , yuppie crocodiles and punchy citizens sounded like a cross between the Inquisition and the Spanish civil war. He confidentally stated he could cope with anything the Territory might throw at him if he took up the Government House job . Cane toads would pose no problem because he would beat them to a pulp with his cane and roast them on the barbie . As an added inducement to appoint him the next Administrator, Dali said he would fill Government House with several of his surrealist Mae West lounges if given the appointment.