Saturday, October 4, 2008

HOSPITAL WHEELS OF FORTUNE

It is fitting that Little Darwin , inspired by the fabulous Little Britain TV show and Territory delusions of grandeur, should have an item or five about weird goings on with people in wheelchairs. Who can forget the wheelchair bound character shoplifting, beating up beercan throwing boneheads, parachuting , thwarting his thoughtful carer’s love life?
Well, try this for size. In hospitals throughout Australia a farcical battle of the wheelchairs is going on each and every day. It is not uncommon for a patient to park a wheelchair to shower and emerge to find the chariot missing, swiped by a staff member who had to steal it because of a severe shortage of wheelchairs .
In post-op recovery sections , nurses often argue over who will have the next rare wheelchair available to transport their patient to a ward. Full of awesome power, a wheelchair supervisor , something like the Big Fat Controller out of Thomas the Tank Engine, armed with a clipboard , keeps a beady eye on the movements of this necessary equipment , but not its condition .

Wheelchairs turn up with FLAT tyres ,LOOSE arm rests , CORRODED metal parts. Trying to manoeuvre a wheelchair with an hexagonal shaped wheel and a stand containing drips and tubes is dangerous to both the staff member doing the shoving and the patient . Many wheelchairs should be junked instead of patched up .

Maintenance of wheelchairs , we are informed , is unsatisfactory, slow and individual departments in hospitals are charged for repairs . The redtape associated with this madness is monumental. In a large Brisbane hospital something like l6 wheelchairs were mustered in one department and carted away for repairs. The faults included tyres so worn canvas was showing through, backs were loose, arm rests missing and rust was so evident it looked like a scene from a Hammersley Range iron ore pit , a Third World scenario. Report the obvious unsatisfactory situation to somebody up the food chain of command , and they often tend to plead ignorance.

We don’t yet know what the situation is like at Royal Darwin Hospital but going on some of the dodgem car antics performed outside the main entrance by people in wheelchairs some probably need a bit of panel beating by V8 pit crews.