Monday, October 20, 2008

TERRITORY KNEE DEEP IN CLPS

Believe it or not , there is to be another political party called the CLP in the Northern Territory . There used to be the anorexic Country Liberal Party which grew into the Country Liberals which morphed into the Clobber the Labor Party. Then along came the weird Curvaceous Lip Party . Now there is the Crocodile Liberation Party , all known as the CLP. Confused ? So are we, but our excuse is that most members of the Little Darwin editorial team are bonkers. Our esteemed political pundit, Cyril Cyclops, says the NT’s feral donkey voters will find it hard to work out voting slips with so many CLPs to choose from .

The Crocodile Liberation Party is against the forced removal of crocodiles from Darwin Harbour. At a media conference in the renowned Throb nightclub , the president of the Croc Party , Kylie Gorge , issued a challenge to wildlife rangers : “ Let my crocodiles go loose, Bruce. Let my crocodiles go loose .” Bruce was unable to defend himself because he was wrestling a ferocious 10 metre crocodile which had eaten two southern tourists at the Mindil Beach markets.
Kylie says crocodiles are entitled to swim in the harbour as they were eating trepangers long before the Great White Hunter arrived in Darwin . According to Ms Gorge , crocodiles suffer extreme withdrawal symptoms when trapped , tied up and removed from the tasty Darwin sewage treatment ponds. This kind of cruel treatment must stop, she said. Crocodiles should be given the keys to the CDB where they could help drastically reduce hoons, thugs and dingbats. However , the Mayor seemed more interested in cane toads than crocodiles . Ms Gorge said all Crocodile Liberation Party candidates are easy to identify because they shed genuine crocodile tears – unlike the many other animals in the political swamp .