Friday, January 2, 2009

NT FIRES UP SASSY SHARPSHOOTER

Duck! Trigger- happy US vice president contender, Sarah Palin , is coming to the Territory on a Down Under shooting safari. She became interested in Australia when she heard that bucks never seem to stop in our political shooting gallery .

Right now, the Haneen buck, with more antlers than a herd of hatstands, is running free when , by rights, it should be shot, stuffed and turned into venison or a tasty dish of vindaloo. Recovering from the strenuous presidential election, during which she was repeatedly shot in the butt by comedians and gun totin’ Republicans , Palin wants to relax, culling our wildlife.

This morning Governor Palin told Little Darwin’s Alaskan correspondent , Juneau Junior , that Darwin seems like an ideal spot for a mild mannered hockey mom with an itchy trigger finger to chill out . She has been informed that the grounds of Darwin Hospital are overrun by rampant feral bucks. It would give her great satisfaction to plug some of these critters straight between the eyes like Annie Oakly or her hero, the late Charlton Heston, who now runs a shooting gallery for right wing angels on Cloud Nine. .

In another generous gesture, the Alaskan Governor says she will teach Country Party leader Terry Mills how to use a Winchester to cull out his restless herd to avoid being gored from behind by a fractious follower. She told Little Darwin she will advise Mills to perform a Dick Cheney shoot- your- buddy episode on any bellowing pollie who shows the slightest sign of becoming beastly.