Tuesday, December 8, 2009

RAVISHING BEAUTY IN UGLY FISTICUFFS

CANBERRA : It has just been confirmed that the supreme example of Australian womanhood , Auntie Jack, has been hired to help Liberal leader, Tony “One Punch” Abbott , to prepare for next year’s title fight with Kid Kevin from Coolangatta .

A demure damsel with a sexy moustache, Auntie Jack is a typical Liberal lady who wears a modest hooped skirt , lacy, pink budgie smugglers , a monocle and a boxing glove to beat off amorous milkmen and door to door encyclopedia salesmen.

In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin’s Canberra correspondent, Argus Tuft, Auntie Jack said she will teach the pontificating puncher with the cauliflower ears , brussels sprouts snout and Chinese gooseberry gizonkas how to rip the bloody arms off Kid Kevin .

With no limbs, Kevin would no longer be able to use his fingers to enumerate why he is the Mouth from the South . Auntie Jack advised Abbott and Costello to form a new team of shadow boxers to rattle Kid Kevin’s camp . Each day Abbott’s pug uglies will gather in the B.A. Santamaria Gynasium and Pol Pot Agrarian Reform Compound for work outs in readiness for their scorched earth attack in 2010 .