Thursday, March 4, 2010

MAD MONK ABANDONS FAITH / COMPASS

It has just been revealed that Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, alias the Mad Monk, has secretly changed his religion in a clever move to lead sinners into the Promised Land where Sir Robert Menzies rules the silted up Cinque Ports.

A former devoted Catholic, he has become an obvious follower of a Hare Krishna-like sect. His skimpy budgie smugglers have been swapped for modest board shorts in the colours worn by chanting Hare Krishna adherents who, like him, give up sex and Barnaby’s gross domestic grope for Lent.

Hare Krishna followers repeat the name of their god over and over . Opposition leader Abbott is well versed in repetitive chanting as are his conservative mates. Over and over , to the accompaniment of drums, gongs and tin whistles, they chant ad nauseam : Rudd’s great big new tax .

Abbott recently ventured into the Central Australian wilderness in a stretch limo -carrying a celebrity picnic hamper from Harrod's and Leunig's direction finding duck - to seek guidance from the Lord Krishna in a bid to find the Holy Grail: a miraculous new drug with which to stupefy Australian voters.