Tuesday, April 20, 2010

CEO CONFRONTED OVER HIT LIST

Gad its tough being a highly paid CEO in Darwin when your grand –hush hush - plans are unexpectedly revealed. The trouble is you can’t fool / cower all of the workers all of the time. Not all serfs are dazzled by the emperor passing by in his finery , handing down life and death edicts to those lower in the food chain. Take the case of a gilded CEO , noted for making the most of all the fringe benefits that go with the job, who is at home, sipping an expensive after dinner port and nibbling a chewy mint , having just polished off a plate of venison and truffles , lolling back listening to classical music. The wretched phone rings and disturbs his reverie. Damn ! Better not be Mumbai !

Instead of an irksome telemarketer , it is a lowly member of his empire , a straight talking woman who has heard he has her on a “hit list” of seven faithful hands to be given the chop. Suddenly, the port tastes like possum piss , he stammers a denial that there is any such Mikado-like list of people to be executed .

The CEO ducks and weaves , but the feisty caller locks horns . She tells him not to come the raw prawn with her as she has an impeccable source for her information - a person she names in his own office- an uppity executive who likes coming the heavy , who let slip the existence of the said list. Sugar and shaving cream !

Continuing the Gilbert and Sullivan theme with an added snatch from a Little Darwin sea shanty , played to the accompaniment of a barnacle encrusted hornpipe , the angry caller, by now giving the CEO dyspepsia and heartburn , promises the rattled mugwump she will fight his underhand plot . After the battle , she warns, he will think he has been worked over by the combined scurvy crew of the Pirates of Penzance and the Caribbean , spearheaded by Bruce Willis , Johnny Depp , Errol Flynn and John Wayne . Did the CEO go to water? Has the list been thrown overboard ? Will he be forced to walk the plank ? The answers to these rhetorical questions are being worked on by our network of earwigs . We do know the CEO attempted to keep a low profile but a recent event has caused him to stammer, stutter and kick the cat-o'-nine tails, a cruel act being investigated by the RSPCA . Feel sure we will keep readers informed about any new development in this ripping yarn.