LONDON : Feral squirrels nearly ruined the dazzling wedding of Prince William and Kate. Little Darwin’s Royal Roundsman, Davy Crockett , can reveal that a colony of squirrels perched in the oak trees inside Westminster Abbey caused chaos at the nuptials , watched by a TV audience of two billion and one million seeing eye dogs.
The squirrels, about 50 in number, caused mayhem as they dashed among the select assembly, nibbling at the nuts on fancy hats .One cheeky squirrel ran up the leg of Elton John and snatched a packet of baby rusks from his frock coat . Fortunately, Elton’s husband had a nappy bag slung over his shoulder , so he stuffed the squirrel inside and took it home as a toy for the baby,oft seen being pushed around Hyde Park by nanny Dame Edna in Queen Victoria's bath chair,hired from the Albert Museum for a monthly amount said to be equal to a king's ransom.
A mighty cheer went up when David Beckham gave a squirrel a kick and it landed in the baptismal font stored at the back of the organ. As Prince Philip slashed at the marauding squirrels which caused women to scream and leap up on their seats , his swordplay was reminiscent of something out of an Errol Flynn movie on late night cable TV.
The man responsible for supplying the oak trees at a special cut price, Claude Jeremiah Greengrass , was later arrested posing as Lord Muck at the Queen’s party for the 650 wedding guests . He is expected to be deported to either Van Diemen’s Land, Darwin, Tennant Creek or Alice Springs. Before being locked in the Tower of London , Greengrass told our man Crockett he bought the trees from a Yankee outfit, National Lampoon Christmas Trees (Inc. & Biro ).
The squirrels, about 50 in number, caused mayhem as they dashed among the select assembly, nibbling at the nuts on fancy hats .One cheeky squirrel ran up the leg of Elton John and snatched a packet of baby rusks from his frock coat . Fortunately, Elton’s husband had a nappy bag slung over his shoulder , so he stuffed the squirrel inside and took it home as a toy for the baby,oft seen being pushed around Hyde Park by nanny Dame Edna in Queen Victoria's bath chair,hired from the Albert Museum for a monthly amount said to be equal to a king's ransom.
A mighty cheer went up when David Beckham gave a squirrel a kick and it landed in the baptismal font stored at the back of the organ. As Prince Philip slashed at the marauding squirrels which caused women to scream and leap up on their seats , his swordplay was reminiscent of something out of an Errol Flynn movie on late night cable TV.
The man responsible for supplying the oak trees at a special cut price, Claude Jeremiah Greengrass , was later arrested posing as Lord Muck at the Queen’s party for the 650 wedding guests . He is expected to be deported to either Van Diemen’s Land, Darwin, Tennant Creek or Alice Springs. Before being locked in the Tower of London , Greengrass told our man Crockett he bought the trees from a Yankee outfit, National Lampoon Christmas Trees (Inc. & Biro ).
