Monday, July 25, 2011

MEMPHIS MYSTERY CRACKED?

WASHINGTON : The FBI has been asked to investigate a claim that the trousers stolen from Malcolm Fraser when he was Prime Minister of Australia are being auctioned on e-bay. Mr Fraser was on a fact finding mission to Memphis when an audacious thief nicked his trews one dark night.

Dazed and chased by yapping mongrel dogs , our great leader was taken into protective custody . Considerate police officers supplied him with a Big Bird costume to hide his knobbly knees from disrespectful photographers.

The theft was regarded as one of the most audacious crimes in America . Despite the efforts of a team of detectives led by Elliott Ness , helped by Inspector Rex ,who ran his wet nose up the PM’s inside leg searching for a scent, no culprit was ever found. Now the case has been re-opened after all these years by e-bay offering the trousers , described as having once belonged to a famous, over stressed Australian grazier.

During his time as PM , irreverent , lefty , Bonox - sipping members of the media hurtfully nicknamed Mr Fraser the Crazy Grazier. So these strides on e-bay sound suspiciously like the ones stolen from Mr Fraser.

The FBI warns the elastic in the braces attached to the pants will have perished by now and moths will have riddled the cloth . If the stolen trousers are seized in a dawn SWAT team raid and returned to Mr Fraser, he will be advised not to wear them in public or else he will be arrested for having no visible means of support and impersonating a hobo without a permit to do so, much to Tammy's annoyance.