GUERNICA INSPIRES POLICY FREE MOB

General Franco’s manifesto is being used as a template for the secret Conservative policies being drawn up in readiness for a Federal election . Disguised as a bearded nun , a member of Little Darwin’ staff, related to the brave Goon , Greenbottle, penetrated a scream-proof dungeon where the policies are being tried out on a focus group tied to racks powered by heartless men and women , all wearing Cadel Evans masks to hide their identities, on stationary bicycles built for two. A timid young lad, our Aussie Greenbottle convict said the terrifying sight seemed like an Opus Dei inquisition holiday camp where they chanted over and over that there was no (repeat NO) hope for anybody in Australia Felix. Startling details of these policies , with photos , will be revealed in coming weeks.