Monday, September 19, 2011

MAIDEN VOYAGE DISASTER


Horrifying details are coming through about a terrible shipwreck at Nauru. Our exclusive photograph shows the SS Australia breaking up on rocks. It seems the tired , emotional and ranting skipper, Captain Baloney Queeg ,was lashed to the wheel when the huge liner struck a reef in the shape of an unexpected poll result. The brand new luxury vessel , built from inferior Chinese steel, popped its rivets and began to sink while on a magical mystery voyage for Canberra’s Third Reich Glee Club.

Brave Captain Queeg deliberately steered the SS Australia towards the island, hoping that the passengers would be rescued by refugees holidaying at Howard’s Hideaway, recently the subject of a Getaway fun travel report. The Glee Club , a seagoing bunch of pirates , willing to sell their whatnots to any bunch of well-heeled privateers, has been exceptionally happy in recent months, convinced that they, like Vikings, will soon invade,sack and burn an unsuspecting lucky country. Early eyewitness accounts of the tragedy paint a picture of absolute panic as women and children were trampled underfoot in the rush to lifeboats and life supporting portfolios .