Sunday, September 18, 2011

NEWSFLASH: HAPPY FEET ARRESTED IN WILD DARWIN MELEE

Missing celebrity Emperor Penguin,Happy Feet, was arrested after a disturbance in Darwin’s nightclub precinct last night and charged with driving an iceberg under the influence of overpowering sardine fumes . In an exclusive interview obtained by a Little Darwin reporter, also thrown into the spin dryer for long distance swimming in a nightclub punch bowl, Happy Feet revealed he had deliberately turned off his tracking transmitter .


“Every media reporter in the universe, including Nudes of the World , was trying to hack into my transmitter,” he explained ,” and I had this continual ringing in my ears as I swam along at a depth of 1000 fathoms, trying to get back to the Antarctic from New Zealand .” White Pointer sharks and Killer Whales were attracted to the buzzing of the transmitter , as well as the Territory’s own Mandorah Monster and Japanese whalers. To escape imminent death, he jettisoned the transponder and hitched a ride on a passing iceberg heading for Darwin because of the sudden ice age setting in up north