Friday, February 10, 2012

SABRE-TOOTHED JELLYFISH IN TABLOID TERROR




The Northern Territory's jellyfish from Hell – exclusive first picture, taken with a recently pawned special Kodak Box Jellyfish Camera .

There are so many dangers associated with Darwin’s fresh and salt water that every resident is to be given a bravery award just for having a weekly bath or dipping a toe into the backyard pool . The poo shooter pumps crap into the harbour , there are marauding crocs everywhere , feral woks are terrifying sunbaking nuns , drinking water has taken on the appearance of something strained through a swaggie’s loincloth, and recently the NT News reported that a jellyfish had bitten a bather. A marine biologist from James Cook University , Townsville , says Darwin’s monstrous fanged jellyfish could become a greater danger than white pointer sharks. It would be disastrous if the jellyfish spread to the Coral Sea and began attacking the Great Barrier Reef, soon turning it into talcum powder. The marine expert said the usual gummy Darwin jellfish sting their prey , but exposed to all the toxic pollution in Darwin Harbour had obviously mutated into fiendish Jules Verne monsters of the deep. He said the NT News should receive the jellyfish investigative reporting award for alerting the world to this new oceanic threat.