Sunday, May 20, 2012

BLOTT ON THE POLITICAL LANDSCAPE

CANBERRA: The advance crew for an Australian version of the British TV farce BLOTT ON THE LANDSCAPE has arrived here , causing both unease and hysterics in political circles. According to the BBC publicity department , the 13 part show, though top secret, will include a plethora of scheming politicians, a titled wife who wants to cash in on Tony Abbott’s maternity leave plan as soon as possible, a weird, goose-stepper who lusts after the job as presenter of the ABC’s Gardening Australia TV show , evil Doctor Smirk who runs a shooting gallery where effigies of Liberal leaders are squirted with water pistols filled at the Darwin poo shooter and a secret plan to reroute the east coast Pacific Highway through Uluru .


The BBC says auditions will be held for the role of the Naughty Catheter Nurse / Nanny Whip who specialises in disciplining politicians and prancing about in assorted frilly garments and leathers. Political pundits have recommended a certain person who regularly performs like Madam Lash and a White Pointer in a feeding frenzy when interviewed. BLOTT ON THE LANDSCAPE, the adaptation of Tom Sharpe’s novel, was a hit in Britain ; it starred David Suchet (Poirot ), George Cole ( Minder ), Geraldine James ( The Jewel in the Crown ) and Julia McKenzie ( Miss Marple). It contained grotesque characters, sexual embarrassment , comic violence and pompous bureaucracy ... a plot which seems strangely familiar.


Unlike the original TV show in which there was a stately Rolls Royce , Little Darwin understands the Australian version will feature a leaky Bentley made available by a patron of the arts who lives in the hills near Melbourne , eats fish fingers for breakfast and has an impressive Barbie Doll collection. His bunker is also likely to serve as a squeal-proof Aussie love nest set in the series.