FUTURE SHOCK NEWS SCOOPS

Rupert  Murdoch  marries  P3  girl. +++  Cardinal   Richelieu  okays  Julia  Gillard  be  burnt  at  the  stake  in Joan of  Arc  jacket. ***  Muscular Joe  Hockey  represents   Australia in  Mr Universe  contest. *** Christopher  Pyne  orders  Coles  Funny Arcade  naughty boy  whipping machines  installed in all  schools  and universities as  part  of   the  Coalition’s   dynamic new   approach  to   education.