Friday, July 19, 2013

PETE STEEDMAN FOR PM


Cometh  the  hour, cometh  the  man . The Australian political  scene  has  been  turned  upside down by the  entry of  the renowned  multi-talented  Pete Steedman who  has  announced  he  wants to  be  Prime Minister  and  that  he will  head  a   new  group called  the  Socially Acceptable  Party  (SAP) . The  shock  news  spread  like a thunderbolt  throughout  political circles. Kevin Rudd , believe it or not, was  speechless, unable to express  himself in Chinese , English , Pidgin  English   or  Swahi . Tony Abbott  snapped  the  cord in  his budgie smugglers , causing them to  plummet lower than  his  popularity  rating in the  polls , also revealing  there  is not   much  meat in  his  policies pouch.
 
There are reports that one of  Steedman’s  longtime fans , Gerard  Henderson , of  the  Sydney  Institute  , broke down  and  sobbed  with  joy when he heard  his  old  comrade is going to sally forth, like Brave Heart ,  from  his leafy estate in the highlands , wearing the  clan tartan , to  lay about  the nation  with  his  claymore to free the  oppressed.   Little Darwin has long  been singing the  praise  of   Steedman , and  now  a  group of influential  and powerful  friends   has  backed him  to  stand as   PM .
 
Already  a  powerful video has been launched,  presenting   Steedman  as  an elder stateman , a man  of  the  people  for  the  people,  who is concerned about women skateboard riders, struggling  dolls eyes  and  mothballs  salesmen , vintage car tragics.  The brilliant video  has  been  prepared  by  Australian  News  Network’s Messages on  Hold .  This talented   group  offers  a  rare service –at your  request-  it will  produce  a   video   proving  your  best  friend  is    guilty of  a  heinous  crime. 
 
So there you are ,  dear reader,  the election race has been blown asunder by Steedman ,  a  tearaway  student  newspaper  editor ,  who  nearly ended     Bob  Dylan's life.  The  famous singer, touring Australian in  1966 , heard  of  this  wild  dude  Steedman ,  and  on a dark night knocked on  his  door in Melbourne . Pete  was  expecting   a visit  from some bovver boys , possibly  armed with  baseball  bats  and  heavy artillery   at  the  time , so  was  armed  himself, and  when  someone  announced it  was  Bob Dylan  calling ,  he  knew it must  be  the  mob.  Armed with  an  offensive weapon, Pete  braced himself ,  prepared   to  emerge  like  a  whirling  dervish with  a  scimitar  .   Dylan  was  so, so  lucky not to  lose   his tonsils and  a  few  other   vital parts  . (It  is a complicated story - perhaps explained in  detail at  a  later date  ). Now  Steedman  is   returning   to  the   political scene   like  Richard  the   Lionheart  to  save  the  nation ...God bless Australia ... America , even those annoying  Kiwis .


Steedman  is  shown  above   giving  a  much  friendlier  welcome  to  another famous American-stand  up  comic , Mort   Sahl,  the first entertainer to make the cover of  Time . Born in Canada , the  son of a court reporter , Sahl  based  his comedy on  current  events , strong on politics.  He used newspaper  headlines of  the  day  for  his  monologues  rather  than relying on one  liners and  often  came on  stage carrying a  newspaper , wearing a V-neck sweater . A close friend  of   John F. Kennedy ,  he  upset   President Reagan     by   stating:  Washington  couldn’t  tell a lie. Nixon couldn’t  tell  the  truth , and  Reagan  couldn’t  tell  the  difference.” President  Reagan “roasted “ Sahl at  a White House  tribute  in front of  many comedians . In  a  follow up  television interview , Sahl   quipped the  Reagans  were  very,very forgiving.” Sahl was a close friend of  Hugh Hefner , married  a  Playboy Playmate , China Lee , and  inspired Woody Allen, who said he could not have  become  a comedian himself without his  example  which proved a comedian  could succeed  with off –hand  intellectual  material.