Tuesday, December 10, 2013

SCOOP : AUSTRALIAN POLITICIAN’S BOUDOIR BUGGED


Hockey, Crabb  and  Lenin  in Kitchen Cabinet screen grab.
CANBERRA :  In  a  shock  report  ,  the   dastardly  ABC  today  revealed  that  spooks  had  bugged  the “ boudoir”  of  now  Federal  Treasurer , Joe  Hockey.  This   stunning   revelation   has   rocked   and  shocked  the  stumbling   Abbott  Government    and   is  certain  to  result   in  the ABC   having  to  rely on  chook  raffles  for  future  funding .   Spooks   had  a  fit  watching  Annabel  Crabb’s   Kitchen  Cabinet  series  in  which  she  was   shown  Joe  Hockey’s “ boudoir”,  with its  Bart  Simpson   pillow case  and  a  nearby  wall  hanging  of  Russian  revolutionary  leader  Lenin ,which started  alarm bells  ringing  in  spookland.     One  spy   observed that  Hockey is  built  like  a  Russian  bear so could  not  be regarded as  a wee  Gremlin  from  the Kremlin.    A   spook  posing  as   an  inconspicuous  cleaner  with  an eye- patch, wooden  leg  , wearing  a mini-skirt  and  sporting an ill fitting ,  pre-loved merkin as a wig,  immediately  visited  the  pad  and  inserted  hi–tech  bugs , disguised  as  cockroach bombs, throughout  the  Canberra  apartment .  Subsequent   recordings   picked  up numerous  sounds  like  junk  food  and   midnight  snacks  being  eaten   underneath  the  doona  in  the goose-feather  bed.  Bart Simpson's  pillow  talk  taps  sounded   as  if   Duff   Beer  was  being   drunk,  resulting  in  belching   in  a  hard  to  decode   morse  code  variation. 
 
Bart's  boudoir  belching  baffles  ASIO  and   Bletchley  Park .