Monday, December 23, 2013

MURDER UNDER THE MISTLETOE (Sorry, Miss Fisher , Miss Marple. )


Tasty Chicky under threat . Vallis Photography
Jack  the  Ripper is  on the prowl ,literally on the wing  .  The  frightening  information  was  phoned through during screening of  the ABC’s The Holmes a Court Family Saga : a  foreign  voice  warning   that  the killer is  loose in  the district . The  informant , known as The Queen of  the Jungle , a wildlife carer , said  a  Barking Owl  could  be  heard  making  its  distinctive, spine-chilling  cry  , similar to that of a  Mopoke  .  The   said  bird  eviscerates  young  Curlews  in  the twinkling of  an eye   and  we  have a  cute  new  one , nicknamed  Chicky.  Sure enough ,  after  putting down the phone , I went into the  backyard and  could hear  barking  in the  distance, not the canine  type  .  It  was  going to  be another  of those  tense nights to  prevent  a  Christmas  killing . Murder  was  clearly  rampant  in  the  animal  kingdom   as   a   Crow  had  yesterday   chopped  down the Sun Bird  nest on  the verandah  and  pecked it to  pieces.   Hardly  the  spirit of  Christmas. 


Killer Crows  starting  up  the barbie.
Shrieking  Curlews  woke me at 2.10am.  I  jumped out of  bed , grabbed  the  torch , switched on  the outdoor  light and   ran out  onto  the back  verandah,  looking  for  the owl . Flashing the torch  beam  all over  , I did  not spot  the bird  but  heard  the flutter of  wings . My  wife called from the  kitchen that  a Possum  had  just sprinted   across  the  yard,  behind  me .Then  I took up  guard , sitting on a  chair at a  new collapsible  trestle  my daughter had bought me as a Christmas  present , and listened to the  sounds of the  night ...a neurotic Storm Bird ,  nuts  falling from the palms, the screech of a Flying  Fox, Geckoes, an air conditioner . Crash!  Thump! Bang ! Those so and  so  Possums  galloping  on the  roof . On  previous nights , I have   run  out   barking like an Irish Wolfhound  and  also  making the  sound of  a  Puma to  frighten them away, much  to the undoubted surprise of neighbours . There  is  sudden  movement  on the fence – a possum ; mesmerised by  the  torch, I wish it the compliments of the season and , with  a  broom, push it  into the neighbour’s place , where it can  entertain  the   new   baby  boy, Reef.

 
At 3.10,  after hearing  a Barking  Owl   a long way off ,   I  break  my vigil and  make a cup of coffee . With my cup, I return to  sentry duty, the  moon  clouds over , making it  ideal for  the owl  to attack. There  is  sudden movement on  the fence- two  more possums , one  small . I flash the beam at them, making a barking  noise,  and  they  rapidly disappear into another property . Returning  to my seat, I kick over  the  coffee.  Eventually retreat  into  the den and begin  writing  this diary. Suddenly, the  dreaded Barking Owl  is  heard nearby.  Rush out again, switch on  more  lights, cannot see the predator . By 5.30  it will be light  and the Curlews will come  knocking at  the back door to be fed . Only 10 more days to go  before  Chicky will be  too  big   to  make  a  mouthful  for the marauding  Barking Owl, by which time I  will be  bleary eyed ,  nervy , greyer,   blood  pressure  all  over  the  place.  Thump! Another  Possum. Frog  has  started  to  croak...might  be  going  to  rain . It  is  now daylight,  and I  am going in  for  medication and  a  kip .   Kookaburras can be heard  greeting  the  dawn...they  also dine on Curlews .   Merry Christmas  and a  Happy New Year ? I  think  not .