STOP PRESS : BAFFLING BIG MANGO MYSTERY SOLVED

A  gigantic  plague of   weasels   is responsible  for  the  mysterious   disappearance of  the   Bowen  Big  Mango. The   recent  rain  and   by-elections  led   to   an explosion of   the  weasel population. Many  Queenslanders   complained  they   could  hardly  hear  themselves think   because of   deafening   weasel   words   filling the   air , day  and   night, even  on TV and  radio  .   Weasels  breed   like  rabbits  and  are  worse than a  combined   mouse    and   grasshopper plague .  They  gnaw  through  anything  that  they  come  across , including the brain cells  of  voters.    When  the  tourist   attraction  disappeared,  Bowen locals ,  naturally ,  blamed danged  Greenies  who  oppose  proposed new  super duper   coal  loading facilities  and  the  dumping  of  harmless dredged  up  sludge  on the    Great  Barrier  Reef . However,  vast  amounts of   weasel  scats   have been  found   around   the   Big  Mango  site proving beyond  doubt  that  they  are  responsible for its disappearance . Police  have  discounted  a   report  the  mango, covered  in tattoos ,  was  seen  hidden  under  a  tarpaulin  in  the sidecar   of   a   motorbike  heading   for   a  Shepparton cannery or a Victorian bikie clubhouse .