CANBERRA
: Believe it or not, massive additional funding
will be provided in the budget so
that the ABC can
open a new
bureau in Moscow . However, the government says
the money will only be provided if the plush office
is run by patriotic Shaun Micallef
, who devilishly fronts the highly rated Mad As Hell series .
A
running dog spokesman
for the Coalition , Itchy Yapper , today said President
Putin specifically asked PM Abbott
to send Micallef to Moscow as he has a big
surprise for him.
The
PM , said Yapper , was naturally only too happy to oblige
a power - mad leader.
Little Darwin understands Putin is
furious about the treatment he received on Mad
As Hell over his
divorce and his new girlfriend - said to be
a soccer playing, bouncing , pneumatic gymnast .
As everybody knows, Putin
is a macho man who regularly wrestles brown bears , has rippling muscles , strips down for photo shoots , cleans his teeth with vodka and puts the boot into the Ukraine on a daily basis.
It is understood he plans to send Micallef to Crimea so that troops can use him for AK47 rifle shooting practice . His remains will then be fed to Arctic wolves in Siberia .
