Is this gesticulating politician unwittingly guilty of the extra-judicial killing of Peter Pan's midget girlfriend , the beloved Tinkerbell ?.... If so, should he be fed to a crocodile ?
Australia’s
fabulous
flock of fairies is being decimated because of all the
finger pointing in politics , according to the battered Fairy
Godmother . In an exclusive interview
with Little Darwin’s Fairy Correspondent
, Narelle Goody-Twoshoes , the bedraggled
Fairy Godmother explained the sad situation
over a cup of
latte honey dew in a King’s Cross grotto.
The
tearful grand old lady revealed that due to a
Satanic curse , a fairy
is killed each time somebody points , the finger acting like a Death Ray gun . Thus , she begged all politicians to stop
finger pointing in parliament
and on accursed photo opportunites when they are in factories or on building
sites. The recent epidemic of finger pointing during the rerun of the Senate election in Western
Australia had wiped out a vast number of innocent fairies in that state.
There were now more blowflies
than fairies in WA.
The
Tooth Fairy , she added , was now on stress
leave after dodging
all the finger pointing during the election , and as a result gummy kids
were starting to doubt that fairies
even exist .
Clutching
her broken wand , and modestly covering a rent in
her clothing near her ample bosom
, the Fairy Godmother said she had
experienced several near
death finger pointing episodes . She made an impassioned plea for the
Federal Attorney-General , George Brandis, a man handy with his digits , to bring in legislation outlawing finger pointing throughout the
land , especially near magic
mushroom fairy rings and
dingly dells.
Our
reporter Goody-Twoshoes immediately rang the
A-G’s office for a response. His media
consultant said Brandis was not available because he was still trying
to assemble
his evil made in China bookshelf kit . However, she said he had nothing against fairies . Indeed, some of his best
friends were fairies .
Mr
Brandis , she continued , had said he
would now do a
Rudd and stick his finger up
his nose instead of point at members opposite. He fervently wished the Fairy Godmother could quickly get her
wand panel beated so that she could
order the bookshelf to fall into
place .
EDITOR’S NOTE : Goody Two-Shoes
will be nominated for the top Australian
journalists’ accolade – Fairy Floss
Churnalist of the Year.
