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The Suffragette that knew Jiu-jitsu.
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LONDON : An outrageous decision has been made to
sex up the Meryl Streep movie being shot
in England about the
struggle for women’s voting rights in the early 20th century.
Financial backers began to have
grave doubts about the box office
prospects of the film . After all,
a movie which depicts woman complaining about their ordained position
in life , being submissive , stuck at home , cooking gruel , obeying an unwashed husband , lolling about in bed
, like Queen Victoria , daydreaming about Britannia and Prince
Albert in tight breeches would baffle American audiences whose brains have been turned to
mush by the daily bombardment of
crap through commercial advertising , TV and radio .
The early
film rushes were regarded as
dreary and hard to understand. Furthermore, the idea of showing a
suffragette throwing herself in front of the King’s
horse was regarded
as repulsive by the
born again Christian bankers putting up
their money .
A trouble
shooting Hollywood
formula screenwriter was called
in and came across the above
1910 Punch cartoon showing a slim suffragette beating off a platoon of
London Bobbies trying to arrest her for
disturbing the peace and frightening
horses . This inspired him to drastically rewrite the script...
turning it into a wholesome Bruce Lee type kung fu action
movie. Suffragettes in mini skirts ,
their bodies glistening from oil made
from left over cooking
fat , kicking
up
their
heels , using their
fists like Rocky . The first commercial movie to be
shot in the Mother of Parliaments , the rejigged , action-packed script will see
Streep, playing Emmeline Pankhurst , invade the
chamber and kick the male chauvinist
pig Speaker in the Stone of Scone , a most painful position ,
and flay about with the mace . Australia’s great feminist and political fashion consultant, Germaine Greer , has threatened to strangle
the
scriptwriter with her whalebone
reinforced bra , a move which will guarantee that the film is a
box office smash hit , according to
Variety .
