Wednesday, October 29, 2014

DOWN THE HATCH IN THIRSTY DARWIN : A FROTHY BREW


 Onetime Top End resident , writing under the pen name of  Shawtodds *, fondly  recalls  great watering  holes of  his  time when Darwin was a very  different ( and some would say a far more pleasant place) to  hoist a  few, which Shawtodds did with  considerable enthusiasm and  not just on hot days. WARNING : This  epic  contains  horse  droppings .
 

The brother of Vic Hotel Mine Host , Richard Fong Lim , Alexander "Alec "Fong Lim , who served in the pub , was also a bookie and is shown here fielding at  Fannie Bay Racecourse  at a  Melbourne  Cup  meeting circa  1974. Educated at Scotch College, Adelaide , he  sired  six  daughters, became the  first Australian Chinese Lord Mayor, in Darwin. Lake  Alexander , man-made , and the drive into it were named after him . A daughter, Katrina , born 1961,  is currently Lord Mayor of  Darwin .

Darwin was a thirsty town in the 60s  - in fact locals boasted that the two biggest secondary industries - hell, the only secondary industries-  were the Vic and Swan breweries. These  were the days  before  Darwin  lost its decrepit charm and, in a way,  its innocence. Few  citizens locked their doors at night. and most parked cars had the  key dangling in the ignition, their owners secure in the knowledge would still be there, provided they could remember where  it was parked - not a given after a roistering night in the pub of which there were only a  handful serving a perennially parched population of around 15,000 . In  the city  proper were The Vic, the Don and Hotel Darwin. Out  of  town  were the Parap, Fannie Bay and  Nightcliff hotels and a year or so later the Rapid Creek hotel. 

One of the great pubs of my drinking life was The Vic in Smith Street- overseen benignly but firmly by its Chinese-Australian owners, the Lim family. Richard Fong Lim ruled proceedings, and routinely barred badly behaved drinkers, including larrikin members of the Northern Territory  News  staff, for periods of up  to three weeks  and  made sure beer garden patrons didn’t overstep his  mark—such as the occasion I took a racehorse into The Vic after a two day drive from Mount  Isa where we had unsuccessfully tried to win a race during the  mining town’s annual Melbourne Cup meeting . Richard eyed old  Gallant Wit and observed mildly: ”Just  tie  the bloody thing out  the back. I don’t want it shitting  in the  beer garden.” 
   
Odd  Vic  drinker

 All Darwin pubs then closed at 10 pm – except each was allotted one  late night a week when stumps were pulled at midnight. Late night at The Vic was Thursday, as it was at the Don, then regarded as a bloodhouse and thronged with stockmen and ringers in  from the cattle stations and looking  to get drunk,  have a fight and get laid – and given there were  then  three  men  to  every single  woman in town very little  feminine company was available to sweaty, half-crazed stockmen and ringers and  thus, this overflow of testosterone had no other outlet  than drinking and fighting of which there  was  very much. Drinkers wanting to dodge the biff  gave the Don a swerve on late nights. 

 Not  that late night at The Vic was a garden party, but Richard Fong  Lim kept a firm rein on more extreme behavior, and while loud drunken singing and shouting and even jug-drinking competitions were OK, spewers and fighters were banished swiftly and all remaining hands pretty much had a good time getting pissed and  lying to each other. Friday night was late night at the Parap and Nightcliff pubs, with the Parap hands down the most popular because of its large beer garden and the fact it was not a tied house and served both Vic and Swan beer and as  hard-core Vic drinkers were want to opine - nobody will drink Swan unless he is in thumbscrews or  it  is  free. 

Saturday was  late night at the Hotel Darwin and the Fannie Bay Hotel, both of which attracted a better class of drinker if you didn’t count the thirst-crazed journos from the NT News. The lounge at the Hotel Darwin on the Esplanade was  straight out of Somerset  Maugham – a  large stone-flagged area  innocent of air conditioning  and  open to lush gardens with overhead fans swishing the tropical air over languid patrons knocking back icy colds of their choice. It was the perfect setting for a  relaxed  and low-key  evening  on  the  piss. 

On the Mitchell Street  side of the pub was a horse of a different color – the famous Hot 'n' Cold bar, scene of unlikely Saturday morning roistering and  believe it or not – a rock ‘n’ roll dance which  raged  from around 9 am until 1 pm when everybody left to  crash before the serious evening's  drinking or weaved off  to the footy or the Fannie Bay Races.
   

This bar was one of the classic watering places of my time and scene of many a mighty tipple by the ragamuffin crew from the NT News.  The bar was  in its true hot and cold mode at that time - freezing when the air conditioning was working and a tropical sweat hole when the Stokes Hill powerhouse buckled under the strain and half the town blacked out. I must say it encouraged consumption, because when it was hot your beer got the same way unless smartly drunk, and when it was cold you wanted to make sure you got it down before the  bar steamed up again.
 
Overlooking the thirsty throng was a bar-long mural by famous cartoonist and newspaper satirist Paul Rigby of  how Darwin comically imagined itself. Scattered through the mural were tiny drawings of a little figure he included in almost every drawing he did. This prompted a standing challenge at the Hot 'n' Cold  any drinker who could locate all the tiny figures in five minutes won a  jug of beer. Seeing as most patrons were feeling no pain when they attempted this task - the numbers of jugs the bar had to ante up was buckleys and none. Alas, this wonderful piece of Australiana did  not  survive re-modelling at the Hot 'n' Cold and  has been  lost to posterity.

[ Edit :From  memory, this mural showed a Pommie businessman in a bowler hat arriving  in  Darwin from  a  plane with a slinky blonde in  black on  his arm . Thereafter, she was shown in various  misadventures  being ogled by local blokes in singlets and shorts. In one  scene , bikini clad , she was  water skiing , pulled along by a  stingray. The  unhappy looking Pommie , on  his own ,  was  last seen boarding a plane out of  town   with a carton of  beer  on  his shoulder  bearing  the  slogan  WING  YOUR  WAY  WITH   SFA ].  

 It was also here that the Darwin Press Club was formed and had its headquarters in the bottle shop, the  street entrance of which was blocked to non-members from the street by virtue of press club members  putting  a broom handle though the handles. If  you wanted to buy a bottle, you went to the bar. Amazingly  ,the forbearing licensee of the pub, one Bailey Pitt, copped this outrageous behavior  for about six months. Mainly ,I suspect, because consumption by the parched press club members more than made up for any  loss of sales. Foundation members of the club were NT News editor Jim Bowditch, Les Wilson, stroppie transplated Kiwi who worked out of the NT News office as the Darwin correspondent for the now-defunct Sydney Daily Mirror,  news editor Keith Willey , award winning  journalist and widely published author, sports reporter Peter Blake, always willing to back himself in a speed-drinking contest, and a handful of hangers-on, including  Paul the soccer player, a sex-obsessed New Australian who was welcome, not just because he was an entertaining liar,but because it was hoped his  success with the sheilahs would rub  off on  the (single) desperates from the NT News. Never happened.

 
The  Press Club opened formalities on Saturday morning after the   paper was put to bed. Those days  it published  three-times weekly, Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and Saturday morning. Some serious two-fisted tippling occurred at the Press Club and many sought entry but  few were chosen. Come Sunday the drinking landscape  in Darwin was a barren wasteland - non Sunday opening in those days - and the nearest pub to quell hangovers was  way out of  town – more than 100 km in fact – the Adelaide River Hotel which had a sprawling beer garden and an unending procession of  characters-such  as  pith helmeted , cigar chomping  Tiger Brennan dropping  in  for a  white can or six. It was well worth the trip – a perfect escape for a  quiet Sunday morning’s  drinking, although the drive back to town could  be a  bit of  an  adventure.

*Shawtodds  is  now a hippy hippy  kind of  adventurer  ,  a   mix  of  big  game fisherman    and   cardsharp , with  a  gullet  like  a  Murray  River  Pelican , who  expresses  himself  like   Damon   Runyon.