QUEENSLAND...Beautiful one day- Utopia the next , thanks to the ABC

BRISBANE : Facing a  massive loss of  seats at  the looming election, the Newman LNP Government is obviously, desperately  following  the   ABC  docu-comedy Utopia  for  vote winning  inspiration.  No  sooner than  a   madcap scheme  was   proposed    in Utopia to build  a  bridge from  the mainland to Tasmania  than the Queensland  Government announced  it  plans  to  double  the  size  of  a  bridge  to  an  island .

Then Premier Campbell "Cantilever "Newman enthusiastically endorsed a Brisbane City Council proposal to close down  the city's Story Bridge and rent it out at $50,000 a pop for private functions, despite traffic management  problems . Describing the bridge as arguably Queensland's most iconic structure , he said  it could  be used to promote the city to the world. Wow. 

 

It has been  leaked  that regular Monty Python fish  slapping  events  will be  held  on  the  bridge  to raise campaign funds  for the LNP which is showing signs of tumbling down like London Bridge.  In these hilarious Story Bridge  happenings  an  overweight   LNP  member in  Bombay Bloomers, wearing  a pith helmet and blue  tie ,  will  smack  a prancing unionist  waving  a  puny Tommy Ruff  with  a rock solid  Gladstone  exploding eye  Barramundi  and  knock  them   into  the  Brisbane  River . Those  parts  of the  world not  in  Australia will  be  truly  gobsmacked .  

Blurred , exclusive  photo  , taken with  a banana spy camera,  of  Story  Bridge  Monty  Python fish slap  rehearsal shows  developer , Colonel  Blimp,   biffing  an  uppity  unionist-a  single mother of  five snotty-nosed  kids, with a sick pet  Penguin requiring frequent , expensive trips to the vet -sending  her plunging  into  the  muddy  river , full of  spent  skyrocket  sticks  and  napalm  from  Riverfire .

STOP PRESS:  Dr  Bruce Flegg , who  recently had  his LNP bridging loan withdrawn and  then rudely shoved  into  shark  infested  waters  ,  has   kindly  offered   to  treat  the  worker's crook  Penguin for  nix .