TOKYO : Japan’s leading submarine factory is rocking
round the clock building
top secret , uncomfortable Nippon
slip-on cricket box-like devices to prevent a rapidly growing number of Australian politicians from painful depth charge attacks .
This follows the latest explosive verbal threat by the Speaker of the Northern Territory Legislative Assembly , Kezia Dorcas Tibisay
Purick , not only to castrate Defence Minister Kevin Andrews with a
green rubber ring , but Treasurer
Joe Hockey , the latter forced to moonlight as a
weekend real estate agent to pay
off his
huge defamation case legal expenses.
In Canberra this morning ,
Liberal spin doctor Fritz von Waffleburger , out for his early goosestep,
admitted the government is deeply
concerned that two of its frontbenchers
could be reduced to squeaky voiced eunuchs. On top of this, the PM, George Dubya Abbott, seems headed for the nackery in the public
opinion polls .
The Coalition, whispered von Waffleburger in a hard to understand guttural twang , was filling up with a growing number of shrill-voiced members . Hockey stupidly laughed his head off
at the suggestion that the Northern Territory should become
a state in the near future.
Purick was out rescuing her Japanese
silkies from a giant Anaconda snake when she first heard
his
response and was furious ... obviously
intending to tighten up a bit more of Hockey’s alimentary canal and nearby attachment .
Little Darwin understands the Nippon slip-ons are
designed to protect the ministers
from Purick’s painful guided
green rubber rings and
incoming angry voter torpedoes and rockets . Purick recently
made the
Territory Chief Minister’s eyes water when she resigned from the
Country Liberal Party because of all the
party shenanigans, including embarrassing River Dancing and failed musical chairs acts in the Administrator's office , meaning the CLP is now a ramshackle minority government-emasculated-certain to be reduced to an unsightly pig's whistle
at the next election .
PURICK DISCLAIMER : Speaker Purick,
a
dog lover , wishes it known
that she is in no way connected with the Chinese company
which produces the Purich brand of pure alcohol pet
food , probably very popular with
Darwin’s legion of yapping mutts and their glassy eyed owners in the rural area .
