Tuesday, January 26, 2016

CHARGE OF THE FIGHT BRIGADE


Scoop  war zone  report   by  William  Boot  sent  by carrier  pigeon , quickly  made into  a tasty , aphrodisiac  pie  for  media  baron   Lord Coot , rumoured to  be  smitten  by  a  young  chorus  girl .

CRIMEA:  Nothing much happened here today- except for the usual  hand to hand fighting  and  backstabbing   among   the  Redfaced  Coalition  forces  in  the  dangerous  Broad Church  area  . There  are , however, growing signs that Lord Turnbull of  Ebenezer  and  Cayman  will bravely lead  a  death defying   charge in  a vicious  battle which  could see him  quickly stripped  of  his   cardigan, balaclava , fleecy  lined   jodhpurs  and  crown  if  he  fails to  rout  the  enemy from within .

Indicators  of  a looming  bloody   battle  is  the  fact  that  wily   Lord  Turnbull  has  given his  favourite  warhorse  a  double shot  of  cobalt and  his closest  admirer , Lucy Nightingale,  has trimmed  many a wick  and bought  gallons of  kero  to keep her  lamp shining at night  as she tends to the vast  number of   wounded  soldiers  expected  from  the  true  blue  conflict. 
 
Ms Nightingale, daughter of  a well  to do family, was given  a cricket bat by her daddy  when she was just a toddler  and  told   to  dong  the snotty-nosed  children of  republicans  when  she  went   to   kindergarten  and  played with  them in the sandpit , especially  on Australia Day.  

Modern  Sydney showing   Redfaced Coalition  electorate  battlelines
Much of  the bloody fighting will undoubtedly take place in  the  tribal  areas   around Sebastopol,   also known as  the  old  Tartar  capital of   Sydney , where warlords   plot  and dispense  favours ,  onerous tasks  which  can  lead  to  dehydration and a thirst for  Grange  and  Coke...whichever  is  your  poison .