Sunday, January 17, 2016

EXCLUSIVE : DESPERATE TURNBULL TO CALL IN GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

NEW YORK : When  Prime Minister  Malcolm Turnbull visits  the  Big Apple he will  hire  the  famous  Ghostbusters  team  in a  frantic  bid  to stop  the  massive stream  of  evil  ectoplasm   flowing through Coalition members, especially in  New South Wales . 

The impact of  the  so  called   River  of  Slime has  become evident  among the Tories  and  their  hayseed  mates . Liberals are threatening to  resign and  become Nationals ; Nationals are demanding  another Cabinet  position and  are  fighting  over this  and   the  leadership  of  the  Nats  as  Warren Truss is expected  to  exit  left  ; a disgruntled  group  of  NSW  Liberals has  been plotting  to oust sitting members   forcing  PM  Turnbull  to say he will not  tolerate such action   ;  Bronwyn Bishop and  Bill  Heffernan  are being urged  to  disappear...Bronwyn possibly a cabin flight attendant with Alitalia and Heffernan  as a trainer of sniffer  dogs to detect pipe  bombs  ; the  imminent  reshuffle of  portfolios  has  got  many on  edge ; inflammatory  statements  by  ousted  former ministers  have been  embarrassing  the   Turnbull  government.

The   spreading  brawl  in the  government  came after a love in and clam bake   at exclusive  Vaucluse  when  all  the  pollies  went for a  dip in a  stream on a private beach . Suddenly, all the party  was  engulfed by a pinkish river of slime ,  ectoplasm , just  like the one that  hit  New York , causing chaos, fear  and loathing ,  and  gave  birth to  Ghostbusters ll.

Ever since  that  horrific Vaucluse episode  the Coalition has become  full of negative  attitudes , like the people  of  New York .  It has  even been claimed that Lucy Turnbull described  the  Coalition as  looking like  a  mess of seething  yabbies about to be tossed into  boiling water. This colourful statement  could result  in  her  being  signed  up  for  a cooking series on SBS as has been Peta Credlin, Tony Abbott's former chief of  staff .
Meanwhile, Little Darwin is reliably informed   that   the  former Australian Treasurer, Joe Hockey, now our  gilded ambassador in  New York, has  arranged  for  the  Ghostbusters   car, above ,  to  drive  Turnbull  about  the Big Apple ,a copy of which will be shipped to Australia and used as the PM's official transport  . Car buffs   will instantly  recognise  the  limo  as  being  similar to  the  last Holden  produced  in  Australia at  the  doomed  Elizabeth  plant  in South Australia, reduced to Japanese  scrapmetal  by the dynamic gremlins , Abbott and  Hockey.

FOOTNOTE: An indication of  the  sad state of  the  once mighty  American  car industry is  the  fact that  the  latest General  Motors model  launched in the US has  been  made  in China .