CANBERRA : The Liberal Funk Bunker is certain to call in the famous British naughty catheter nurse to whip the Coalition into shape for the looming disastrous election . Fear and loathing has rocketed as the Coalition increasingly looks like a divided shambles , the PM and the treasurer contradicting each other , grand thought bubble schemes to turn Australia into a Banana Republic floated daily.
PM Turnbull 's latest announcement , designed to put a tiger in the tank of the economy , launched at the Panthers footie club , on examination seems destined to turn the nation into a replica of the Balkans.
Worried Funk Bunker spinmeister Fritz von Waffleburger today reluctantly confirmed this blog's exclusive leak that prominent UK politician , Sir Giles Lynchwood , has been contacted and asked if he can arrange for his friend the naughty catheter nurse to pack her leather boots and horsewhip and come Down Under to prevent a blot on the landscape result at the election.
Sir Giles is exceptionally busy at the present moment using donations from developers to build a series of secret nuclear waste dumps across rural England .
