Tuesday, June 7, 2016

COALITION FUMBLE , BUNGLE AND STUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE

Predictions  of   a  massive    coffee  drinking economic recovery  and  a giant  Singapore Sling   a hundred  times bigger  than the Raffles Hotel  staggers   bibulous  voters   in   the  dry tropics .

Lithesome  and  petite  Julie Bishop  with  cuppa  mock turtle  soup and  LNP  northern  heavyweights   Ewen  Jones  and   George Christensen  in Townsville 
 
The  dancing , prancing , jogging , beaming  Foreign MinisterJulie Bishop , accompanied  by  the Assistant Minister for Defence, Michael McCormack ,  bounced about   Townsville , dwarfed at  times by the  LNP  twosome  known  in the north  as  Tweedledee  and Tweedledum -Ewen  Jones  (Herbert )  and  George   Christensen (Dawson). Like twins, they often are seen travelling   together  by  plane  to  and  from  Canberra .


 Christensen  is   the subject of a complaint to the  Australian Electoral Commission and  Federal Police   that  he  improperly  offered to  pay $12,000  to a  turtle  retrieval organisation , if   voted  back  in ;  this kind  gesture, made on Facebook , has  since been  removed , Christensen saying  that  the  complainant ,  GetUp,   is  a "  left wing, extreme  Green  group." GetUP national director Paul  Oosting said  that Christensen's offer  was  ham-fisted  and  a  dumb attempt  to  gain votes .  

Ms Bishop had  jetted into  sunny Townsville   from  Perth and  said she was  absolutely delighted to be in town . According to Niki Savva's book, Road To Ruin ,which told  how the Abbott  government  repeatedly  shot itself in the foot with an elephant  gun ,  this happy state  of  mind   was  just the   opposite to the  previous  time she was in town with then  PM Tony  Abbott  just before the fatal spill which  saw him dethroned .
 
On that occasion , displaying  obvious  uncomfortable body language , the two were shown  side by side in Townsville , with Jones , announcing  direct  flights from  the  city  to  Bali . Author Savva  wrote that   Bishop was angry at the time (see Page 169)  because the  announcement had nothing to do with her portfolio , but she  had been instructed to attend  by  Peta  Credlin , the  PM's chief of  staff , or else  it  would  be  regarded as being   disloyal   to  Abbott .
 
However, on this  latest  slaphappy  trip to Townsville , Ms Bishop  provided  a photo  opportunity by running  along  the  The Strand with people in  Ewen Jones T-shirts ; Jones not built for speed , did not participate , although he  did do a mock   Olympic marathon  race   finish , in  shirt and  tie, lumbering up  to  smiling   Julie. 

 
In company with  Jones and Christensen , she  beamed at  the media , holding back her famous death-ray  glare , above,  when  questioned  about  the failure of the  Federal government to make a  commitment to funding  for the $300 million    stadium  and   entertainment  centre , as  had  Bill Shorten and  the Queensland  government -$100million each . 

However , she  and  Jones   went on  with gusto  about the vast amounts  of money that would be  spent  building   facilities  in Townsville for  the  14,000 Singapore  defence  force troops  who will  spend  18 weeks a year in the city and  Shoalwater  Bay.

In a separate event on Magnetic Island , Jones , performing  like  a Parramatta  rockabilly  auctioneer,  said  he  was  going to have extensive  discussions with Defence Minister  Marise  Payne  and he  would  urge  that  regular  marathon races   between  Singaporean  and  Australian troops be  held on the island , with teams  running from one  bay to another ; more  tracks could be built on the island. 
 

Somewhere along  the  line , it was suggested  the  influx of  Singaporeans  could lead to   9,000,000 cups of  coffee   being consumed, which would undoubtedly  stimulate  the   Townsville  economy  and  open up new job  opportunities    dishwashing.   This  coffee explosion  probably   explains  why  Townsville  has  been  boasting   that  it  now has  a city lane  with a Melbourne  coffee   drinking atmosphere, showing it will be able to cater with the massive increase in  slurping .  
 
After all  this grand Coalition parade  , the  Townsville  Bulletin gave  the Bishop/McCormack   visit  and Ewen  Jones  support act  the rhubarb  treatment , saying  the  Singaporean  news had been rehashed and she had  nothing  to  say   about a  Coalition commitment to  funding for stadium and entertainment centre .
 
Moreover , the Townsville Bulletin  followed up with a front  page story  which  was  like  the  Japanese attack on Singapore  in WWll ... JONES: I'M CLUELESS, the strapline , MP admits he does not  know if LNP will back stadium.

 Furthermore, the  paper  ran  a  cartoon  showing  Herbert  ALP candidate   Cathy O'Toole , decked out  like  local hero , Johnathan Thurston  of the Cowboys,  complete   with  his  headgear,  about to  score in  the election footie match  fast  approaching   end   of   play .   

The Brisbane Courier Mail  also ran  critical  items  about Ewen Jones  and Government  ministers  not   being able to  say if the LNP would  commit  funding for  the   Townsville  stadium , and Turnbull neglect  of  Queensland in the election campaign  .  By  now the air raid sirens must have been ringing in  the Coalition  bunkers .

 
Some  political  observers  say  Canberra  is  increasingly coming to the conclusion that   Herbert  will  be  lost   and  that  Christensen , who recently called in  Tony Abbott  for help , above,  could  also  be  part of  a  Coalition   domino  collapse   in   Queensland .   

SMOKO , COFFEE BREAK   :   When   Ewen  Jones  visited  a  men's shed  he  looked about  at all the useful   things  being made  , passed  the  comment that the only thing he could  make  would  be  an   ashtray  for  a  motorbike.