Sunday, August 21, 2016

HINCH TO GIVE PARLIAMENT'S DADDY MUCH NEEDED DRESS TIPS

A natty dresser from way back, it is hoped that  Derryn  Hinch, pictured ,  will   give  the Grand Papa  of  both  the  Senate and House of Representatives  , Senator Ian Macdonald (LNP,Qld )   some  advice on  how  to  spruce up his  attire.  For some strange reason , Senator Macdonald  appeared  in  the  chamber  looking  like an over-ripe Queensland mango which  had been clawed by  a shrieking  fruit  bat during the night   , see below, or a member of  the  admirable SES , not  a  commando group, the state emergency brigade.
Onlookers were  clearly puzzled, taken aback  by   the senator's attire , especially members of  the media  ratpack . One ascerbic  scribe  pondered on how  the senator  had got past his media advisor/s  decked out like this . The best guess...they (advisors ) were already   out for a Wednesday  afternoon drink  by  the time the senator awoke from an afternoon nap , and got his hands on a keyboard to  issue an extraordinary press  release  relating to  an Estimates Committee  meeting in which he had attacked Human Rights  Commissioner Gillian  Triggs  over  her  report on  refugee children in custody , during which it was revealed he had not even read the report, resulting  in him receiving a   salvo   from  many  quarters  .

Responding  that afternoon  ,  the senator opened  up  his media conference  with a sentence which  went  thus :“Thanks to all of those who have kindly (and not so kindly – they are the majority and are all Labor/Greens staffers, Union heavies and staff and good old Get Up and old leftie journalists) made media and social media comment on recent media reports on the Senate Estimate Committee on Professor Triggs and the  partisan-ly titled report on children in detention “Forgotten  Children”.”

Anyone who could   read this  aloud in a single breath, wrote one obvious latte sipping  reporter, would  be  sent  their very own Ian Macdonald hi-vis fluoro vest as a prize, as  modelled above .
 
So it can be seen  that there is a golden opportunity  for  Hinch   to  improve  the sartorial  appearance of  Conservative  fellow  senators, some whom look like undertakers.  Even though he is  72  and therefore  two years older than  Macdonald,  Derryn  could  justifiably be tempted  to   call   Macdonald  , Junior.
 
Little  Darwin has received  exclusive information that an  anonymous   former politician  who  scorned   the wearing of a  tie , sported   sunnies  and  a  leather jacket  ,  has  offered  Hinch, aka the Human Headline and  Human Armpit , his accumulated  political  wisdom  and may even  arrange for some of  his top secret   files  to  be delivered    from  the  back  of a  truck one dark  and stormy night  in  Canberra .