Friday, December 30, 2016

AN AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL LAMPOON CHRISTMAS STORY

On  Christmas   Day , in Brisbane , a relative , who is a recently retired  hard worker in the medical field and  a  caring , considerate  grandmother  to  boot  , shared  lunch  with  some  family members who  visited , then  had a  nanny nap  to prepare  for  another  lively event  later  with  other  family  members   at   their  house , some distance  away.  This second part of the festivities required    loading  into  the  car   her  two  pet   dogs , Charlie and  Cookie ,  their  beds,  their  tucker , her toothbrush and nightie,  an  esky  ,  presents ,   floral  posies ,  so   that  they  could  stay  overnight .

The dogs were  each  placed in  a  car safety  harness ,  and  set off   on the trip . Along  the  way , Charlie began to bark   each time they  stopped at lights , so she stepped  on  the  gas  to try  and  beat  the  lights . People that  pulled up alongside at  stop lights   stared  at  the  car to  see  what  was causing the   dog  to  bark .  
 
Along the way , she slowed down at a  cemetery entrance , intending to put  a bunch of flowers consisting of  New South Wales Christmas  Bush  and Chrysanthemums on her mother's  grave . Charlie immediately began to howl mournfully.
 
After a  quick talk to her  mum, she apologised  for having to dash  away-but  Charlie  was  really upset . 
 
On to another cemetery , where here  father was  buried . Emerging  from the  car,  with   a  similar bunch of  flowers , Charlie continuing the dirge  with  gusto ,  she was  immediately  attacked  by a  shrieking  plover  running along the  ground. Its  mate  dive bombed  her  like  a kamikaze pilot .
 
From a  distance , a  strange woman could be seen  running  about the cemetery ,  waving a  bunch of  flowers  over  her  head ...  and   was that  the  hound of   the  Baskervilles  baying  nearby ?  
 
When Grandma tottered  out of  the  car  at    the final Christmas  Day  destination she was  given  a  large  Scotch   to settle  her  down . The dogs slept well  in  their  beds .