Wednesday, August 23, 2017

TOWNSVILLE GOING TROPPO

Things may well  be crook in Muswellbrook, but   Castle Hill , above,  overlooking  the Queen City of the North , is looking  glum,  down  at the mouth , as if  suffering  from  toothache ,  epitomising  a  feeling  afoot  in  the ville .

There  are  clear  signs   that  Townsville is  going bonkers , cracking under  the  strain  of  water restrictions , the  Cowboys being smashed by  Mexicans , Thurston's shoulder  refusing to  heal despite the laying on of many hands , the coal fired Murdoch  Townsville  Bulletin  rabbiting  on   about  the  same old issues ,  more yapping    dogs  being  abandoned  , unemployment  high , signs of  an  early  trying  build up to the  Wet season ,  not one  of which  has    filled the   city's dam catchment  area  since    the   crossing  of   the  Red  Sea  by  the  fleeing  Israelites .

Evidence of  the  stressful situation   is  the  action of  a prominent , well respected   resident   we  know  who punched  his  Epson  copying  machine , only two months  old,  and then  threw it into the wheelie bin  because it would not work  properly.  This is more drastic behaviour than Mr Fawlty belting his car with a branch for not working .


 Another person , who shall remain anonymous for obvious reasons , was  seen  parading  about  wearing an imported, expensive  replica of  Napoleon Bonaparte's  cocked   hat .  He is expected to be  dragged off  soon by men in  white  coats. There are indications of an early mango crop , so the annual outbreak  of   Mango Madness  can  be expected across  the entire  north , not only in Townsville , so medical  staff  will have to  cancel  drug company  skiing holidays .  


 On reading  that  the  Townsville Bulletin  had  once more  gone to  The  Strand  to photograph  and  ask  a  curvy  piece  of   visiting  eye candy in a  bikini ( didn't Rupert  declare  P3 girls  old  hat?  )  if  she felt  there  would be rain ,  a  woman  yelled,  threw  her arms  up in the air, said she would never buy the   bloody paper  again .   What would  a  backpacker   know  about  predicting  North   Queensland  weather ?

Exactly . And while on the subject of aliens  from  another planet , the  Bulletin , Bully  for short , has started  running   the    column  of  bombastic Paul  Murray  who anchors another fair and balanced   Murdoch owned  television  show  in Sydney ,  joining   the  array of  southern  syndicated  ear-bashers writing   for  the  paper , and  other Murdoch publications  ,  the price of  which  has  gone  up  more  than  14 per  cent . 

Murray  came to  Townsville   during the recent  V8 Supercars , his pending   visit  written  up  in  the Bulletin  as if  news of  the   Second Coming . The reaction  to the   Murray column   is like that of  the   tragic event when  freezing locals  at  the opal mining   town of   Coober Pedy , South Australia ,  were induced  on  an  early  morning  television  show  to  sing happy birthday  to  Ray Hadley , another  Sydney  babbler  : Ray Who ?...Why do the gods  and  the crumbling  Coalition   punish  South  Australia so much  ?  
Instead of rain , an indication of an early , trying build up to  add to the misery .