Meatball Kim Jong-un snapped visiting cosmetics factory with his wife, Ri Sol-ju, in black and white camouflage netting dress , inspecting the new range of slip, slop , slap cream which is guaranteed to protect against bunker buster cluster bombs and restore brain cells in 21 days .In the event that this miracle product does not live up to its promise , there is a free trip to Disneyland with a personal guided tour by recently thawed out Walt Disney and John Wayne .
In breaking news , it has just been confirmed that Chinese president Xi Jinping has a great sense of humour as he has promised to lift by 2050 the ban on showing Winnie the Pooh on Chinese television because of the send up of him walking with President Obama .
From Wally World comes the exciting ( apparently non fake ) news that a series of horror movies starring the soon to be impeached US President Donald Trump will be shot on Queensland's Gold Coast . Called Towering Inferno at the Coalface , it will follow the gruesome saga of building the world's tallest skyscraper -2000 storeys high - with an adjoining casino and golfcourse , all financed by international conmen , Dodgy Brothers Inc.
It turns into a nightmare when it is revealed half way through the build that the cladding is highly inflammable and it has to be removed and dumped in the Adani Carmichael mine crater ; then the tower collapses on top of the casino which is hosting a packed local government conference, also causing a cruise ship run by slave labour to sink and a nuclear powered Russian spy ship to run aground . There are other astonishing highlights which cannot be revealed at this stage because of commercial confidentiality .
